Refugee Family Memories Project - Syrian hospitality, and kids will be kids.

I recently had the honor of taking a family portrait for a family that very recently arrived from Syria. The family fled their home town just outside of Aleppo.

I arrived at their home with a member of the resettlement agency who spoke Arabic. While I am incredibly grateful for having the help, I learned from this family that where there is a will to communicate there's a way. They told us about their Colombian friend. She has become a close friend in the short time they've been in the U.S.. She doesn't speak Arabic and this family doesn't speak Spanish. However, they manage to communicate using Google Translate. I thought that was absolutely brilliant!

We were welcomed in to have a seat and were offered something to drink. My visit felt very much like meeting new friends and not just business. One of the things I set out to do when I started this project was to make a connection with these families. I’ve watched so many news stories regarding refugees and was heartbroken enough by the footage that I wanted to reach out. Meeting these newly arrived families in their new homes has been more special to me than I can ever put into words. Shortly after we sat down, their teenage sons began to appear. Their oldest son entered the living room and began to speak to his father. At that moment I saw his dad do what can only be described as the international sign for "hey, say hello to our guests!" He gave his son a gentle shove and pointed in our direction as if to say, "we have guests, don't be rude." The boy turned to us and sheepishly said "hello" in his heavy accent. I didn't need an interpreter to help me with that exchange. I've done it a million times with my daughter and my mother did it a million times with me too. These exchanges are part of what makes this project so special. I have learned how similar these families are to mine. We may speak different languages and have different pasts, but underneath it all, we are so much more similar than we are different.

So... now, down to business. I asked them to gather on the couch. They smiled politely for the camera and we got our standard family portrait. But that’s not where the nooks and crannies of a family lie.

Family refugee project-syrians-in-america

With the main shot done, I usually wait a bit. It doesn't take long before families relax and interact in their everyday way. Silliness ensues and I get to document loving moments. And THAT IS THE SHOT I WANT. I want to see them be themselves.

Family refugee project-syrian-children-in-america

I should note that despite all of the silliness I saw during the session, I noticed that two of the boys had "Free Syria" bracelets on. It was then that I realized that even though they're here now, they still long for their home country to be free. I truly hope they see that some day... Some day soon.

Inevitably, the kids now wanted photos of themselves. What is it about kids and cameras? They took one of the standard sibling shots and then one of the boys said, "OK, JUST ME!" I couldn't help but crack up. Ah kids.

With that, I ask that today, on this World Human Rights Day, please welcome refugees into your community. Let's understand that they are families just like ours. Their kids can be just as goofy as ours. Break bread with them. Get to know them. I promise it will be worth it!

The Refugee Family Memories Project gives newly resettled refugee families family portraits. The project helps families rebuild their family albums as they most likely leave all of their photographs behind when they have to flee their homes. In addition, the project works to change the anti-refugee rhetoric in the United States. This project shows that I stand with those who suffer in the midst of war and violence, and that I wish to dispel the myth that refugees are to be rejected. These are families just like ours.

From Sudan to Maryland. A family portrait. - Refugee Family Memories Project

Today’s post has lots of twists and turns. Bare with me, it’s like a scratchpad of my brain, often operating on hyper speed and jumping from one thought to the next.

I had the pleasure of meeting and photographing a Sudanese family yesterday. It was a sweet family of 6. They have kids ages 7, 4, 2, and a 6 month old baby girl. Their house was located within a suburb community, but way off the beaten path. You had to turn off of an unmarked road and then travel about a mile down an unpaved rocky path. It’s the day before Thanksgiving and as I drove down the rocky path all I could think about was how they’d be stranded for days if it snowed… when it snowed. No plow was coming in here and they were only one of 3 houses secluded down this road.

I think it’s interesting how concerned I became for them and I hadn’t even met them yet. How would they get groceries? And with an elderly great grandmother living with them, how would they get help if they needed it? Mostly when we talk about refugees, we lump them together. The Refugee crisis. Those people. The moment we really personify them, put a name with a face and actually meet them, that thinking changes. This was now a family with 4 little ones that had come from an incredibly hot climate to now having to deal with snow and its many challenges. When it snows later this year I’ll be thinking of my new little friends and their parents and grandparents... hoping they’re ok.

As we walked into their home, the family was incredibly welcoming. I went with my friend from the resettlement agency and everyone lights up when they see her. They just smile and thank her pretty constantly. It occurred to me that she’s the first impression they get of the United States. The moment they get off the plane, she’s the first to greet them. She takes them to their new home and gets them settled in. Naturally, whenever they see her, it is with great warmth and affection.

Like with most family shoots, it takes a little bit to get the kids warmed up to my having a camera in their face. They’re shy and not sure of why I’m doing it, not to mention the language barrier we have to overcome. However, as soon as I took one photo and showed them the image from the LCD screen on the back of the camera, they immediately giggled and let down their guard. It’s incredible how much kids love to see themselves in photos.

Parents soon joined them and they sat down on the couch in what seemed like a very serious group passport photo. All stoic faces looked back at me. I put on my silly face, asked my friend to make tons of crazy sounds and got the kids to laugh. I asked them to squish in tight and give each other a big squeeze. Suddenly we had lots of laughs. It was a beautiful shoot.

I’m getting better at communicating with these families given that I don’t speak their language. We’re making it work somehow and I love the interactions. I wondered how many cameras are pointed toward them throughout their journey from war or persecution to official refugee status. They seem to only be photographed as a news piece. “Here are some sad refugees that we’ve saved. Look at them. How sad.” I was asking something different from them. I didn’t want to focus necessarily on their challenging journey. That story has been told. I wanted to welcome them to the United States, and have a chance to photograph the loving family with 4 adorable goofy kids. I wanted to capture how mom carries her little 6 month old on her back, wrapped snug in a baby carrier and sound asleep. I think that once I asked them to just love and cuddle with one another they understood that this wasn’t another typical refugee shoot. This was a family portrait. We spent a little time together and then said our goodbyes.

As I left I became emotional at wrapping my head around just how far they’ve come. Sudan. SUDAN! That’s on the other side of the world. I wondered what their life was like there before they were rocked by the country’s second longest civil war. Now they find themselves in southern Maryland, and while they’re safe, they are now encountering the new struggle of surviving in a country where they don’t speak the language and now have to learn to navigate, work, and raise their children. After spending some time with them, I see lots of love in their home. I see a father who is determined to learn english, children who are picking it up quickly, and lots of support from their community. I became hopeful. I think they’ll be just fine. And now that I know them personally and not as obscure distant refugees, I can help too. I can check on them, offer to shovel snow when the time comes, or just go take more photographs as those beautiful kids grow up. All good things to look forward to.

The Refugee Family Memories Project gives newly resettled refugee families family portraits. The project helps families rebuild their family albums as they most likely leave all of their photographs behind when they have to flee their homes. In addition, the project works to change the anti-refugee rhetoric in the United States. This project shows that I stand with those who suffer in the midst of war and violence, and that I wish to dispel the myth that refugees are to be rejected. These are families just like ours.

What refugees leave behind when they have to flee?

“We are in the midst of the largest refugee crisis since World War II, with more than 21.3 million refugees worldwide; 51% of all refugees are children, and currently 86% of all refugees are hosted by developing countries. ... Refugees leave their homes because they have no other choice, and many are fleeing war and terror, including 4.8 million refugees who have fled the conflict in Syria, and 3 million refugees who have fled conflict in sub-Saharan Africa.”

— http://www.amnestyusa.org/refugee_reality_check_HKedit.pdf

I've been working on a new project lately. With the help of a local refugee resettlement agency, I've been taking family portraits of newly arrived refugees into the United States. I take these photos, print them out, frame them and give them to the families ready to hang. I do this because, my assumption is that, they most likely leave all of their photographs behind when they have to flee their homes.

Photographs are incredibly important to me. Not necessarily the ones I own, but the idea that photographs are a necessary part of society. Those who know me are probably tired of hearing me say that photographs are the visual journals we leave behind when we're no longer here. Photographs tell the story of how we got here, what our homes looked like, who our family and friends were, etc. I came to this idea when my father-in-law Dan passed away. In preparation for his memorial celebration, we poured through hundreds of photographs chronicling decades of his life and hundreds of years of his family's history. There were photographs from the early 1900s in the boxes. I realized in that moment, watching my family sit on the floor trying to whittle down the finalists that would best describe the Dan we all knew in a slideshow, that once we're gone, this is what our loved ones hold on to, photographs.

The project serves two goals. The first is to provide these families with a welcome gift of sorts, a family portrait that can signify their new journey living in the United States. If they have left all of their photographs behind, these photos can serve as some of their first printed images. They can be a snap shot of how old their kids were when they arrived and what their new homes looked like. Their children can look back on these images and remember their family's first months in a new country.

The second goal is to use these images to change the anti-refugee rhetoric that has become alarmingly negative in the United States. This project is my way of showing that I stand with those who suffer in the midst of war and violence, and that I wish to dispel the myth that refugees are to be rejected. These are families just like ours. After being in their homes, spending time with them, eating with them, and playing with their children I can honestly say that all of my experiences have been warm and welcoming. They are so much more alike to us than they are different. I hope that these images can show that. Currently, refugees are entering the United States under a climate of fear against refugees. The new Trump administration has helped spread fear and uncertainty across their community and the groups who help resettle them. They are scared of what the future will hold for not only the refugees who are here but for those seeking safety from war and violence. According to Amnesty International:

“In the United States, polling shows that Americans overwhelmingly would welcome refugees into our country, yet politicians continue to attack refugees, particularly Syrian and Muslim refugees, and anti-Muslim rhetoric has real consequences: numerous governors and officials have spoken out against Syrians and Muslims, hate crimes are on the rise against Muslims (or perceived Muslims) in the US, and a few states have halted the resettlement of all refugees because of the perceived “terror threat” from Syrian and Muslim refugees.”

— http://www.amnestyusa.org/pdfs/Refugee_Rights_Toolkit_Oct2016.pdf

You can help me in welcoming refugee families into the United States by writing your local government officials and telling them that you support refugee resettlement in your community. If you have refugees in your neighborhood already, say hello, welcome them, get to know them. I recently met a family who communicated with another family using Google Translate to break the language barrier. I thought this was genius! Finally, you can volunteer with a resettlement agency. Fore more information, Amnesty International has put together this "I Welcome Refugee Toolkit." While it specifically addresses Syrian refugees, it's easily applicable to refugees and asylum seekers from all over the world.

The Refugee Family Memories Project gives newly resettled refugee families family portraits. The project helps families rebuild their family albums as they most likely leave all of their photographs behind when they have to flee their homes. In addition, the project works to change the anti-refugee rhetoric in the United States. This project shows that I stand with those who suffer in the midst of war and violence, and that I wish to dispel the myth that refugees are to be rejected. These are families just like ours.